STEVE FORBES's speech is making me sick to my stomach, and it has nothing to with what he's saying. In fact, along with the most of the near-capacity crowd at the Verizon Center, a sports arena in downtown Washington, I largely agree with his anti-tax blast. But as first speaker at the D.C. stop of the Get Motivated! seminar--the "Monsters of Rock" of motivational speaking--Forbes tries to face the 360-degree audience by walking in a slow circle, moving his hands up and down consistently, rhythmically, almost lazily. From about ten rows back it looks like he's conducting an orchestra on Valium. Sleep deprivation always upsets my stomach, and I've gotten up early. I skipped breakfast too. Now Forbes is adding to my gastrointestinal distress. So why am I here?

The better question is: Who isn't here? The Verizon Center--normally home to the Washington Wizards and Justin Timberlake concerts--has just over 20,000 seats, and the place is nearly packed at 8 A.M. on a Thursday. Of course, the crowd is not here just to see Forbes. Get Motivated! is supposed to last until 4:45, and Forbes is only the first of several marquee names. Today's headliners are Colin Powell and Sugar Ray Leonard, but other Get Motivated! regulars include Rudy Giuliani (well, at least until his campaign began in earnest), Mikhail Gorbachev, George Foreman, Goldie Hawn, Jerry Lewis, Joe Montana, Ed McMahon, William Shatner, and Benjamin Netanyahu. Past speakers have included Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, and Gerald Ford. (Bill Clinton does gigs for Tony Robbins's competing organization at $300,000 a pop--but only in Canada.)

Motivational speaking is a bona fide marketing juggernaut. Marketdata Enterprises estimates the industry pulled in $9.6 billion in 2006, up from $5.7 billion in 2000. Tickets to Get Motivated! are $225 at the door, though most people get in for far less. The organization offers steep discounts for groups--I saw offers of just $49 for a whole group. The real money is made on the speakers' accompanying books, CDs, DVDs, personal-coaching services, and, yes, more seminars.

The motivational-speaking business has created its own heroes--a slew of people who are successful for talking about success. Appearing at today's Get Motivated! is Zig Ziglar, a World War II vet and former salesman who pioneered the industry in the early 1970s. Though not as well-known as today's celebrity speakers, Ziglar, now in his 80s, remains as big a draw as Colin Powell or Sugar Ray Leonard, and his appearance fees are commensurate. In fact, according to Marketdata, the top twelve motivational speakers in the United States made $328 million in 2005.

It seems that motivational speaking is largely a Red State phenomenon that rakes in billions while the cultural elite remain happily oblivious, like NASCAR or Branson, Mo. Prior to showing up at Get Motivated! I had no idea that this was so. But from the beginning of the seminar there are two overwhelming themes--patriotism and religion, and Get